sine non quota.

!! i had to drink lukewarm coffee this morning. !! .....maybe that sounds severely whiny to you, but the whole reason i even buy that cafe vanilla in the morning is so that i can drink a hot something and be warm. i don't need the caffeine, i need the toasty comfort of holding it in my hands. and? well? suffice to complain that there was no comfort to be had this morning (boo!) due to an unavoidable Long Discussion with mister efficiency about that damn farm again. and with the way duties are being reassigned and ish being reorganized, there's a very real possiblity that today is a sign of all future mornings starting off with (dammit!) lukewarm coffee. give me a moment, i'm feeling a real loss of comfortable familiarity and curbage of freedom. *sob*

i've two minds about all this internal reorganization. on one hand, it's swell to be challenged and actually be given stuff that truly utilizes my amazing superpowers (why no, i'm not being egotistical *at all*). i get to organize stuff, be included in conversations about organizing stuff, and get praised for, guess what?, organizing stuff. no lie -- it's quite fun to be allowed to organize stuff (oh yes, excel es mi amigo eh fo shizzle). i like the new changes -- moving up on the ladder, feeling important, doing more than filing, etcetra etcetra. and yet, i've so lost much of my past drive to do stuff at work lately. there's an inability to partition brain power into staying focused...obviously, this blog entry proves my ineptitude in that quarter. i've checked email and site stats a bit too obsessively these past few weeks. i'm actually rather unsure of what kinda days this lazy ass-ness (that is *so* a word) coupled with excitement for new duties are gonna create in the future. plus, and this is really silly/control-freak/self-bloated of me, i can't help the mental hardship of letting others take over the stuff i used to do. for one, i do those things faster, cleaner, smarter than most. then also my habit of doing everything myself, both for the challenge and the surity of a job well done, keeps my emotions on a rickety high whenever i'm reminded that hey, this ain't my job anymore. a mish-mash of thoughts and silly anger. yesterday's bad mood did not go away, no matter what smiley face i'm currently wearing. suffused with impatience, want to do Anything But This (tm) and, in consequence, i wanna kick the ass of anyone who attempts to arrange my life. good thing that classes have started again...provides a bit of variety to the weekly drudgery.

all this and i'm having a really bad hair day. so bad that it's not even twelve yet and i've tied my hair back. no justice in this world! okay well, just not enough of it. :P

passed by miss all-talent's desk this mornin' and hey!, how come she gets a screen saver and i don't?! i made the new logo (stupid tomato illustrator file n all)! this has been my silly rant for the day thank you.