not exactly wallowing in mundanity (always the same schedule, the same aches, the same tiredness, same ole same ole) and yet at a standstill nonetheless. plenty of things pending, being worked on, waiting in the wings, etcetra etcetra...all of it ironically creating a pervasive stagnation. funny how constant activity actually stymies my mental psyche, smushing any drive to get past the procrastination. in all honesty, it's the nature of the pendings that drag me down. i really have no desire to sign for next quarter classes or reformat jedi bob.
all day long, songs from the a minor and wordless tunes inspired by such have been flowing non-stop outta my head. 'specially that untitled track....over and over again, the notes are so fabulously arranged. a great soundtrack to today's soul-slow atmostphere. well, slow-soul fer me at least coz it's hibernation period again. after the last week of superhero ludicrous speed, all the energy has been completely sucked outta me. looking back on all that hyperactivity and consequent headstrong opinionation (that's such a yucky side-effect of Energetic Me) further makes me wanna crawl back into my cave of heavy blankets with only jedi bob for company. the things i say and do when on a high, whatever the cause of the high, is often too assertive and utterly embarrassing in hindsight. i don't care what people think of me but i do care about not giving the impression of being loud and stupid. since no one tells me what they think, i still question my public image every, oh, five minutes. [was i too vocal? too crass? acting too know-it-all? too critical? did i repeat myself too much? did that come out too awkwardly? why did i just make a weird face again! i need to stop talking so loudly....no, i need to stop flushing red so often....]. of course, the worst was when i inadvertantly spit my breath mint into the trash can (and it's a score from midcourt! she made it without flinching...or even knowing what she was doing!). amazing the stuff that happens when i get excited. dork? why yes i am.
currently wanting the italian job dvd quite badly. partially due to obsession with [i ain't gonna tell you] and partially because of my ever growing need to attach myself to comfortable familiars. so yieah i don't have a mini-cooper (not yet anyway eh!) and thus can only claim a horrible, irrational desire to own cute racing wheels; it's more the fact that they hang in and around my neighborhood downtown l.a. that makes me giggle in recognition. silly yieah i know. when they make fun of l.a. traffic, i snicker in agreement. for once, spilling vehement opinions about stuff won't get me in trouble cuz i been there ya know, day in and day out. ultimately though, it's just a Great Obsession with [didn't i say i ain't gonna tell you punk?].
in short, the wise-ass excuse of the last few days would read something like so like, in return for giving me three days of perfect hairdo(s), god's taking away my ability to get to work on time. shut up you, that totally made sense.
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