FIRSTLY: why in the world are the words "suck pump" stuck in my head?! over and over again, i hear the inner voice crying out "suck pump! suck pump!" and i don't know why. what the hell is a suck pump anyway?

SECONDLY: i don't get pornstar platforms. taller than the empire state building and clear plastic. is this suppose to somehow denote that the wearer of such shoes are sexier, sluttier, and more willing sex goddesses than your average chick who, oh, does it wearing plaid socks? me no get it eh. those things must be so difficult to balance...not to mention heavy to wear. and yet. i want a pair thank you.

THIRDLY: people who opt not to wait long hours in line for the midnight showing of sw ep2: aotc ARE PEOPLE NOT WORTH EVER GETTING TO KNOW. it's true...OH it's true. and not just cuz kurt angel says so too. for heaven's sake, how can anyone not want to spend quality time getting acquainted with random star wars geeks while impatiently waiting for your first view of part two in one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) sagas of all time? if you think otherwise then you suck. end of story.

FOURTHLY: if you ever notice that there is a person who seems aloof and keeps to herself when you are all in the prescence of a crowd, remember that she is never snobby and that you are not worth her time to talk to. it's all your fault and, in fact, you should go out of your way to stay out of her way but also surreptiously send her chocolates and strawberry ice cream on the side. because that is the law punk.

FIFTHLY: DON'T FUCKING CALL ME WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING IMPORTANT TELEVISED EVENTS. THIS MEANS HOLDING YOUR FLAPPING GUMS DURING THE HOURS OF ANGEL, BUFFY, THE GUARDIAN, AND ANY SUCH EQUALLY IMPORTANT PROGRAMMING.

what the hell am i doing here on this planet again? oh-kay.